The Sir Salman Rushdie Controversey

Just when you thought that the Islamic world had forgotten about Salman Rushdie, guess what? We haven't!!

Queen Elizabeth II's birthday was celebrated by bestowing one of the highest honors in the UK to a number of esteemed individuals including Rushdie. But the award of the knighthood to Mr. Rushdie has led to widespread protests across the Muslim world.

Both Pakistan and Iran have "summoned" their British ambassadors, code for "come over for some tea so we can slap you on the hands."

A "high-level Iranian hard-line cleric" (whatever that is) has also declared that the fatwa issued in 1989 by the late Ayatollah Ruholla Khomeini calling for Rushdie's death is still valid.

One would think they would have an expiration date for these sorts of things. Apparently not.

Ayatollah Ahmad Khatami, who does not hold a government position, but has the influential post of delivering the sermon during Tehran’s Friday prayers once a month (wow, what an honor!) has declared:

"The old and decrepit government of Great Britain should know that the era of their empire is over and today they are a valet in the service of the United States"

And as usual, Al-Qaida has something to say about this drama as well! Ayman al-Zawahiri released an audio posting on the internet proclaiming that Al-Qaida would deliver a "precise response" to Britain.

YIKES! (Should I cancel my London plans for next year? Or do you think Mr. Al-Zawahiri would like to come to the UK to "kill two birds with one stone."

The weather in London is probably much better this time of year, than Afghanistan or Pakistan or Guantanamo Bay (where I think he is secretly hiding near the American base).

I think that Ayman will understand when I tell him that I'm a "queer Muslim born in Europe who's parents' ancestry is from Iran, Afghanistan, (East) Pakistan (now Bangladesh) and India.

Al-Zawahiri (who apparently has regular access to digital audio equipment and knows how to upload such files onto the internet) warns:

I say to (Former British Prime Minister Tony) Blair's successor that the policy of your predecessor drew catastrophes in Afghanistan and Iraq and even in the centre of London," the Egyptian cleric said in an audio tape posted on the Internet.

If you did not learn the lesson then we are ready to repeat it, God willing, until we are sure you have fully understood.

Ok so I have three questions:

1st question - Where are these websites that Al-Qaida has anyway? And do you think there are any translated sites for us non-Arab speaking individuals??

2nd question - Do you think Salman and Padma are getting divorced because of the latest protests? Death threats, constant police protection and hiding underground is probably NOT healthy for ANY relationship! I wonder if Padma Lakshmi will still continue hosting the TV show "Top Chef" (which by the way I always confuse with "Iron Chef").

3rd question - To Mr. Ayman and those protesting the knighthood - Do we have NOTHING else to worry about?? Come on people! HELLO?! Have you looked in your backyard lately??

No wonder the rest of the universe thinks the Muslim world has gone off the deep end!