Bush Thinks Mandela is Dead

MY GOD! We have a bafoon (sp?) for a president!!! And no, I didn't just come to that realization... but the more things this man says and does, the more I don't understand (truly really understand) why America elected him??

Mandela still alive after embarrassing Bush remark

Reuters
Friday, September 21, 2007; 8:15 AM

JOHANNESBURG (Reuters) - Nelson Mandela is still very much alive despite an embarrassing gaffe by U.S. President George W. Bush, who alluded to the former South African leader's death in an attempt to explain sectarian violence in Iraq.

"It's out there. All we can do is reassure people, especially South Africans, that President Mandela is alive," Achmat Dangor, chief executive officer of the Nelson Mandela Foundation, said as Bush's comments received worldwide coverage.

In a speech defending his administration's Iraq policy, Bush said former Iraqi President Saddam Hussein's brutality had made it impossible for a unifying leader to emerge and stop the sectarian violence that has engulfed the Middle Eastern nation.

"I heard somebody say, Where's Mandela?' Well, Mandela's dead because Saddam Hussein killed all the Mandelas," Bush, who has a reputation for verbal faux pas, said in a press conference in Washington on Thursday.

Jailed for 27 years for fighting white minority rule, Mandela became South Africa's first black president in 1994. He won a Nobel Peace Prize for preaching racial harmony and guiding the nation peacefully into the post-apartheid era.

References to his death -- Mandela is now 89 and increasingly frail -- are seen as insensitive in South Africa.

Iran's Ahmadinejad wants Bush debate, 'global referendum'

Hmmm... I wonder who'd win? They're both crazy!

TEHRAN (AFP) — Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad on Sunday proposed holding a public debate with his US counterpart George W. Bush at the United Nations this month and a "global referendum" to decide who was right.

Ahmadinejad confirmed in an interview with Iranian television he would be visiting Iran's arch enemy the United States for the third time to take part in the General Assembly next week.

"I proposed it last year. I will go to New York. Let's sit down and talk. But not behind closed doors.

"I propose discussing international questions at the UN General Assembly in order to solve them," he added.

"Our aim is to solve global problems," he continued. "He (Bush) gives his position and I give mine. The representatives of 200 countries meet there and they can judge," he said.

Ahmadinejad offered Bush a public debate before he travelled to the United Nations last year, a proposal that was spurned by the White House which said the suggestion was not serious.

Continued...

American Idol Judges Have Career Advice for Britney

Simon Cowell, Paula Abdul and Randy Jackson are ready to help Britney Spears — by managing her career.

LOS ANGELES - In the wake of her performance on the 2007 MTV Video Music Awards last Sunday, Britney Spears has had an offer of career advice from an unlikely source — the “American Idol” judges.

“We’ve decided that we’re all going to collectively manage Britney,” Simon Cowell said at a press conference earlier this week.

“We’re going to manage Britney, take her career over,” Randy Jackson added.

So what do the “Idol” judges hope to do exactly?

“Keep her away from the stupid friends, buy her some underwear,” Simon replied.

When asked by journalists at the press conference, if her career was over, the judges reacted strongly.

“I never count her out,” the always-positive Paula Abdul said.

“The ratings were up on the show,” Ryan Seacrest noted.

“So, no, her career’s not over,” Randy chimed in.

Copyright 2007 by NBC. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

Hillary Reminds Us She's Not Queer :-)

September 21, 2007

Clinton: I am not a lesbian

WASHINGTON (CNN) – Sen. Hillary Clinton's sexuality is not the most pressing issue on the presidential campaign trail, but it is likely to get a fair amount of attention on a lazy Friday in the nation’s capital.

The Advocate asked Clinton about past rumors that she is gay.

The New York Democrat tells “The Advocate” that she is not a lesbian, according to a story in Friday’s edition of The New York Daily News.

"It's not true, but it is something that I have no control over," Clinton tells the magazine in a story set for publication next week.

“People will say what they want to say," she added.

The comments came in response to a question posed by Sean Kennedy, an editor of the Advocate: "How do you respond to the occasional rumor that you're a lesbian?"

The Advocate has confirmed the authenticity of the quotes to CNN.

OJ Stole My Homework

'Overweight, colour blind men' hired as India policemen

A man weighing 110kg (17 stone) was recruited as a policeman in the northern Indian state of Uttar Pradesh, an official report says.

The report was examining alleged irregularities in police recruitment.

The man would have been unable to run 3km, a mandatory requirement, the report said.

Full Article...

Did you know that:

A total of 7,000 candidates were interviewed in three and a half days. Taking into account eight-hour working days, that would mean 250 candidates were interviewed every hour, or more than four candidates every minute

A random sampling of recruits revealed that 370 of them were suffering from varying stages of colour blindness, which disqualifies them automatically from the job.

One candidate found to be colour blind ranked second in the shooting practice test. The investigators wondered he could excel in identifying objects having multiple colours from 100 mts on the shooting range.

Experts said the handwriting of about 50 policemen in their examination papers did not match their writing in other documents. The investigators say 'dummy candidates'

'God' Responds to Legislator's Lawsuit

LINCOLN, Nebraska (AP) -- A legislator who filed a lawsuit against God has gotten something he might not have expected: a response.

State Sen. Ernie Chambers of Omaha said he sued God last week to make a point about frivolous lawsuits.

One of two court filings from "God" came Wednesday under otherworldly circumstances, according to John Friend, clerk of the Douglas County District Court in Omaha.

"This one miraculously appeared on the counter. It just all of a sudden was here -- poof!" Friend said.

State Sen. Ernie Chambers of Omaha sued God last week, seeking a permanent injunction against the Almighty for making terroristic threats, inspiring fear and causing "widespread death, destruction and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth's inhabitants."

Chambers, a self-proclaimed agnostic who often criticizes Christians, said his filing was triggered by a federal lawsuit he considers frivolous. He said he's trying to make the point that anybody can sue anybody.

Not so, says "God." His response argues that the defendant is immune from some earthly laws and the court lacks jurisdiction.

It adds that blaming God for human oppression and suffering misses an important point.

"I created man and woman with free will and next to the promise of immortal life, free will is my greatest gift to you," according to the response, as read by Friend.

There was no contact information on the filing, although St. Michael the Archangel is listed as a witness, Friend said.

A second response from "God" disputing Chambers' allegations lists a phone number for a Corpus Christi law office. A message left for that office was not immediately returned Thursday.

Attempts to reach Chambers by phone and at his Capitol office Thursday were unsuccessful.

Read the related story here.... :-)

Bush: 'I think I got a B in Econ 101'

Bush: 'I think I got a B in Econ 101'

by Mark Silva

President Bush, voicing optimism for the American economy, declined to speculate today if a recession is coming.

“I think I got a B in Econ 101,’’ the president said at a White House press conference this morning. “I got an A, however, in keeping taxes low.''

His tax cuts, the president asserted, have helped the U.S. economy recover from the recession he faced when he took office and the terrorist attacks that followed. “I say that the fundamentals of our nation’s economy are strong,’’ Bush said today. “There is no question that there is some unsettling times in the housing market…. (but) I’m optimistic about our economy.’’

The president, in a press conference that lasted little longer than a half-hour, repeatedly played off his own image as a poor student, noting that he likes to remind people that Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice has “the PhD… I’m the C student,’’ he said, but look who’s the leader and who’s the adviser.

Continued...

Canine Oxygen Bar in Japan

Sep. 18 - Dogged by demands of the day? Then, how about Japan's latest - a canine oxygen bar, breathing new life into the meaning of pet posh.

Placed in an air-tight cylinder, operators say the O2 environment offers an extra pick-me up for the pooped pup.

Dan Sloan reporting.

© Reuters 2007. All rights reserved.

Video

Pooped pups breathe deep

Sep. 18 - Dogged by demands of the day? Then, how about Japan's latest - a canine oxygen bar, breathing new life into the meaning of pet posh. Play Video

Nebraska State Senator Wants to Sue God

crazy republicans!

State Senator Ernie Chambers Sues God
Chambers says its to prove a point about frivolous lawsuits.

OMAHA, Neb -- State Senator Ernie Chambers is suing God. He says it to prove a point about frivolous lawsuits.

Chambers says senators periodically have offered bills prohibiting the filing of certain types of suits. He says his main objection is the constitution requires that the doors to the courthouse be open to all. Chambers said, "Thus anybody can file a lawsuit against anybody - even God."

Chambers said he decided to file this lawsuit after a suit was filed in early September in federal court against Lancaster County Judge Jeffre Cheuvront. He's the judge who was hearing a sexual assault case, where the woman wants to use the words "rape and victim" during her testimony.

Chambers lawsuit, which was filed on Friday in Douglas County Court, seeks a permanent injunction ordering God to cease certain harmful activities and the making of terroristic threats.

The lawsuit admits God goes by all sorts of alias, names, titles and designations and it also recognizes the fact that the defendant is “Omnipresent”.

In the lawsuit Chambers says he’s tried to contact God numerous times, “Plaintiff, despite reasonable efforts to effectuate personal service upon Defendant (“Come out, come out, wherever you are”) has been unable to do so.”

The suit also requests that the court given the “peculiar circumstances” of this case waive personal service. It says being Omniscient, the plaintiff assumes God will have actual knowledge of the action.

The lawsuit accuses God “of making and continuing to make terroristic threats of grave harm to innumerable persons, including constituents of Plaintiff who Plaintiff has the duty to represent.”

It says God has caused, “fearsome floods, egregious earthquakes, horrendous hurricanes, terrifying tornadoes, pestilential plagues, ferocious famines, devastating droughts, genocidal wars, birth defects, and the like.”

The suit also says God has caused, “calamitous catastrophes resulting in the wide-spread death, destruction and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth’s inhabitants including innocent babes, infants, children, the aged and infirm without mercy or distinction.”

Chambers also says God “has manifested neither compassion nor remorse, proclaiming that Defendant “will laugh” when calamity comes.

Chambers asks for the court to grant him a summary judgment. He says as an alternative, he wants the judge to set a date for a hearing as “expeditiously” as possible and enter a permanent injunction enjoining God from engaging in the types of deleterious actions and the making of terroristic threats described in the lawsuit.

Jack Hanna & Flamingo Trapped in Airport Turnstile

I'm not sure who to feel worse for - Jack Hanna or the flamingo? ;-)

COLUMBUS, Ohio (AP) -- Animal expert Jack Hanna and an 11-month-old flamingo became trapped while trying to squeeze through an airport security turnstile. It took firefighters to finally get the flamingo out.

Animal expert Jack Hanna, in a file photo, had a close encounter with a flamingo Sunday.

Hanna, the director emeritus of the Columbus Zoo and a frequent guest on nationally televised talk shows, was returning from a zoo fundraiser with a mongoose, a small leopard and the flamingo. Three other people were with them.

The entourage arrived at the Ohio State University Airport just after midnight Sunday to find the terminal closed. The only way to leave the tarmac was through a 10-foot-tall metal turnstile with several horizontal bars -- not the easiest exit to squeeze through when you're traveling with boxed-up animals, Hanna said.

"I never thought about the crate being square and the turnstile being round," he said.

Hanna, 60, pushed the flamingo's 2-foot-by-3-foot compartment into the turnstile, then continued pushing while straddling the crate.

"I was stuck like a worm. My eyes were as big as grapefruits," he said. "I can't describe the feeling in my stomach. I can't move up or down. The bars are on your face."

Hanna said he eventually squirmed free, leaving the flamingo still wedged inside and everyone else trapped on the tarmac. He then walked to a nearby fire station for help. It took three firefighters to hoist the flamingo's crate up and out of the turnstile, he said.

Columbus fire department logs show the firefighters arrived at the airport at 12:30 a.m. for a "flamingo rescue," spokeswoman Kelly McGuire said.

Hanna joked that the next time he flies through the airport, the biggest animal he'll bring is a gerbil.

Kiwi Airline Goes Pink

Kiwi Airline Goes Pink

by The Associated Press

Posted: September 17, 2007 - 11:00 am ET

(San Francisco, California) Air New Zealand is delving into the gay and lesbian market with a special themed flight that will feature drag queens, pink cocktails and a cabaret performed by the flight crew.

The destination for the airline's one-time "Pink Flight," scheduled to depart San Francisco International Airport on Feb. 26, is the Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras in Sydney, Australia, one of the world's most well-attended gay events, said Jodi Williams, an Air New Zealand marketing director.

"We are looking at tailoring the in-seat entertainment and having gay-friendly movies and contests and different music and things like that," Williams said.

The flight will be modeled after an Auckland-to-Sydney trip Air New Zealand made this year for the gay Mardi Gras, according to Williams. Before that full flight, the crew put on pink feather boas and sang for the couple of hundred passengers, she said.

Michael Wilke, executive director of a New York-based advertising advocacy group called the Commercial Closet Association, said that while other airline companies have become visible sponsors of gay pride events, none had so far used campy programming to appeal to gay and lesbian travelers.

"They could probably do very well with it," Wilke said. "It really sounds like someone put together the idea of what a gay cruise is and just applied that to the air. And even gay cruises don't feature employees in particular outfits or gay-themed movies."

Williams said the airline still is working out some details of the flight plan, such as what will go inside the goodie bags passengers will get. Since it takes 14 hours to get from San Francisco to Sydney, the airline also plans to schedule some down time during the overnight flight.

"We had to think about keeping people entertained while knowing they will want their beauty sleep," she said.

©365Gay.com 2007

Madonna Meets Shimon Peres

JERUSALEM (AP) -- Madonna met with Israel's president Saturday during a visit to attend a conference on Kabbalah, the Jewish mystical sect she has embraced despite criticism from Orthodox Jews.

Madonna with husband Guy Ritchie, far right, meet with Shimon Peres.

The pop star was seen entering Shimon Peres' home in Jerusalem with husband Guy Ritchie after the end of the Jewish New Year at sunset Saturday.

The Nobel Peace laureate gave Madonna a copy of the Old Testament that she had requested, Israeli TV reported.

On Friday, Madonna was filmed singing Jewish songs and dancing at a conference on Kabbalah with a crowd of hundreds at a Tel Aviv hotel.

Madonna, who arrived in the Holy Land on Wednesday, has become a follower of Kaballah in recent years despite her background as a Roman Catholic. Orthodox Jews have called her interest in the sect an abomination.

The singer has taken the Hebrew name Esther, and has been seen wearing a red thread on her wrist in a Jewish tradition to ward off the evil eye. During her visit she plans to visit sites sacred to Kabbalists.

Dinner With Madonna

Sunday, September 16, 2007
Dinner with Madonna

When Jerusalem Bureau Chief, Kevin Flower, began gesticulating wildly at me from across the dinner table, pointing at his chest and mouthing some word I mistook for an obscenity, I thought maybe he was trying to tell me the bill was here and I owed him a LOT of money.

It took me a while to realize that he was actually pointing at a petite blonde sitting at the table behind him instantly recognizable as the one and only Madonna.

Suddenly, the place was buzzing. Waiters dropped their dishes. Diners stopped chewing and turned around to stare. The more quick-witted ones whipped out their mobile phones and snapped grainy pictures.

But while the rest of the place craned their necks to get a better look, I was shrinking into my seat hoping to disappear from view.

You see, I did a story recently on Madonna, Kabbalah and her visit to Israel for the Jewish holidays. Suddenly, face to face with the subject of my work, I was terrified.

I had a vision of her marching over and slapping me with her dinner napkin, deeply offended at my pathetic attempt to report on her celebrity supremacy as husband Guy Ritchie glowered at me from a distance.

So, I took decisive action. I decided to ignore her. I turned to a fellow journalist beside me for support.

"What about these rumors of the Egyptian President’s failing health? What does it all mean?" I asked in a desperate attempt to look serious and sound earnest, pretending to be utterly unconcerned with the superstar in our midst.

But it was unavoidable. All around me people wanted to talk Madonna. What kind of shoes is she wearing? What is she eating? Is it kosher? What size do you think she wears? She’s so tiny! Why does her hair look so great? Atika, why does her hair look so perfect? You have the best view!

That was the worst part. I had a clear shot to the Material Girl herself and I was too embarrassed to even glance in her direction.

My friend Katherine, a professional photographer who is much braver than me, suddenly announced, "I want to take her picture but I don’t have a camera."

Guiltily, sheepishly, I slid my CNN-paid-for videophone across the table to her, an enabler to paparazzi.

You know, as a journalist, I’ve walked into the aftermath of a tsunami, stared down the barrel of a kalashnikov, and run headfirst into a riot. I’ve interviewed presidents and prime ministers, even a convicted cannibal.

But I couldn’t even gather enough guts to press a button and take a photo of Madonna.

We struggled for at least 30 minutes like this. Giddily taking photos of each other. Surreptitiously zooming in on the real target behind us.

It was a mess.

The closest we got was a very unflattering picture of Bureau Chief Kevin Flower and Madonna’s two bodyguards blocking the view behind him.

So, at the restaurants urging, we finally paid the bill and walked out, utterly defeated.

Of course, I’m sure Madonna had no idea what was going on. She probably didn’t even watch CNN and had never even seen my piece on air and didn’t give a hoot except to think: What a bunch of losers these people at the next table are.

Outside, the paparazzi pounced on us as we exited, flashing and snapping their cameras then groaning when they realized their mistake.

What was I doing? I should have elbowed her bodyguards aside, brazenly snapped a photo and demanded an interview with Madonna mid-bite. That's what a real journalist would do.

So, Madonna, I apologize for not doing my job and interrupting your dinner and bombarding you with questions until I was forcibly removed from the building.

I admit it: When it comes to celebrities, I am a bad journalist.

-- From CNN International Correspondent Atika Shubert in Jerusalem.

Australian Navy Pays for Sailors' Breast Enlargements

Australia navy in breast op row

The navy said breast implants were not to make sailors "look sexy"

Australia's opposition Labor Party has questioned the need for female sailors to be given breast enlargements paid for with public money.

An armed forces spokesman defended the operations, saying they were carried out for psychological reasons, not to make sailors "look sexy".

Brigadier Andrew Nikolic said the "holistic needs" of service personnel were considered under defence policy.

But he said breast augmentations were not routinely funded by the military.

"We do consider the broader needs of our people, both physical and psychological," Brig Nikolic said.

"But that is a long way from saying that if someone doesn't like their appearance, Defence will fund things like breast augmentation as a matter of routine - that is just not correct."

He was speaking after one plastic surgeon said he had carried out breast enlargements on two sailors, aged 25 and 32, for A$10,000 (£4,200) each.

Brig Nikolic said such operations were only recommended after a medical evaluation.

But the opposition Labor Party said it wanted details on the cases.

"On the face of it, taxpayer-funded breast enhancement is a questionable practice," said Labor defence spokesman Joel Fitzgibbon. "I have to say [it] smacks of a government out of touch."