So, in true "Onion" fashion, here's a humorous look at President Ahmadinejad's visit to NYC.
The White House is looking at deterring the Iranian nuclear program with new sanctions. What measures have been proposed?
* Cutting off two-thirds of Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's name any time he is mentioned in the press
* Revoking the country's membership in the axis of evil
Ceasing production of monogrammed "U.S. & Iran: A Perfect Match" matchbooks
* Miss America not including Iran on world tour
* Jesse Jackson to be sent, without an interpreter, to negotiate
* Copyrighting the phrase "The Great Satan" and suing Iran every time it is used to refer to U.S.
* Putting restrictions on how much Iran is allowed to hate the U.S. at any given moment
* Will stop selling them uranium
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